lesson learned

If you saw my last post, you know Kaitlyn started a mother's day out program this week. I am so thankful she got in! There was a waiting list and b/c I am such a procrastinator she was on that list! They call it preschool there which I like, b/c Kaitlyn loves anything to do with "school". What she also loves, is her "pack-pack" as she calls it. She always puts it on and says "wanna ride the school bus" or "let's go see the school bus". When she would stay the night at Mimi & Poppi's last year she'd watch Brooke and Barrett get on the bus with their back packs.. I think that is where her love for school started.
As most of the stores got stocked with school supplies, preparing for the new school year, I saw lots of new back packs and lunch boxes. I wanted to get Kaitlyn a new pretty one and have her name put on it. It seemed like that was the thing to do. Well, as my husband usually does, He gave me a reality check. What two year old needs a new expensive back pack? I just like girly things and I really love things with monograms and embroidery. And there is nothing wrong with that. The thing that was wrong was my motivation. I didn't want to send her to school with a red, blue and yellow Dr. Seuss back pack that I had gotten for free in the mail. Which she LOVES by the way and has no misconception that there is anything wrong with it. Only I, her 30 year old mom who was too busy worrying about what she would look like, had this misconception. I wanted her to have a new, pink girly one b/c I was sure that every other little two year old would have one. As I walked Kaitlyn in to her class yesterday, sure enough lots of children had what looked like cute new back packs. I did not buy a new back pack. Oh I tried several times, but for some reason every time I went to look, I just didn't see one that I wanted and could not bring myself to spend the money on one. Do you know that I didn't send Kaitlyn to school with a back pack at all! How sad, her first day of preschool and she didn't even get to take her precious Dr. Suess back pack. I mean, I let her wear it to the store, church, tons of other places that she would plea.. "Mommy, Mommy, my pack-pack" and I would put it on her, it was soo cute how she loved to wear it. But why now, when it was really time to wear it, did I not give it to her? Well, I felt so awful that she didn't wear a back pack yesterday that I gave it to her this morning. But it wasn't until this afternoon that I really felt like the Lord spoke to me about this silly back pack.
More than being the most well dressed and having the newest cutest things, I want Kaitlyn to be noticed for WHO she is not WHAT she has. I want others to see her sweet spirit, her gentleness, her sensitivity, and how she loves to rub peoples arms to show affection, that she shares her toys and obeys (most of the time). Most of all, I want to teach Kaitlyn to love others unconditionally because that is how Jesus loves. I want her to know that what is on the inside matters more than what is on the outside. Whether it was the holy spirit or that I am just too picky, I am thankful that I didn't buy a new back pack. Every time I see Kaitlyn wearing her little red, yellow and blue back pack it will be a reminder to me.. "what are my actions (and motivations of those actions) teaching my little girl?"
This all may seem so trite, but for this Mommy it was a lesson learned.