seasons of life..

The seasons in my life are changing. I am rather emotional about it, but proud nonetheless.. my babies are growing up.
Nathan is eleven months old and I just started weaning him, so that by his first birthday he will be done with mommy's milk. What an amazing gift God gives us Mother's to be able to bond and nurture our babies in such a precious and healthy way. I started to get sad and teary eyed the other day as I processed this phase of Nathan's dependence on me coming to an end. Even now my eyes are getting blurry with some tears as I write this. I was able to nurse Kaitlyn until she was one as well and hope to be able to do the same, Lord willing, if we have more babies. So I am going to cherish the moment then give myself a reality check and snap out of it. Ha Ha! We would love to have four kids so, that means two more years of nursing in my future.. which puts it in perspective for me. I absolutely love it, but for me one year is my commitment. Nathan is also cruising around everywhere. He can go from sitting down to standing up with out holding on to anything, then He'll just stand there. I keep watching every time he does it because I just know at any moment is going to take a step. He will walk around all day long pushing chairs, trains and anything he can hold on to. He has eight teeth, yes I said eight. That is more than Kaitlyn had at this age. He loves to "rough house" with Brandon and even Kaitlyn. It is the cutest. He will bury his head down on them and start rolling it side to side. This usually will end up in a game of peek-a-boo, or tickling!
Another milestone we conquered this week is potty training Kaitlyn. Aren't you just thrilled that this blog is about nursing and peeing? Sorry if it's TMI.. :o) On with my story... I have been trying forever to potty train Kaitlyn. For months now, she would sit on the potty but would still randomly wet her pull up. I started to change my strategy of rewards and give her a treat for a dry diaper instead of focusing so much on pee-peeing on the potty. And gradually I think it worked. But she still knew she could go in her pull up and not get messy. So on Monday of this week I decided no more pull ups! (for Kaitlyn that is, not for me!) I knew it had the potential of getting messy but I was geared up for it. I had put her in panties before and she did ok, but as soon as she had an accident I just assumed she wasn't ready and put her back in a diaper or pull up. Poor thing, I was probably confusing her. I guess this time she was just ready. It has been five days now and we've only had two accidents, both of which were right after nap time and she didn't make it to the potty in time. :o( We have been to Target, Kroger, the gym, and Chick-fil-A in her big girl panties and she never got too distracted to forget her new skill! I figured the the real test would be leaving her at school for four hours with out me constantly asking her if she needed to go. Yesterday as I drove to pick her up, I was anxious to see if she still had on the same clothes that I dropped her off in. I knew that if she was in new clothes that meant she had an accident. As I drove around the corner I saw her playing on the playground happy as can be and in her SAME clothes! I got out of the car and went up to the fence and she proclaimed exuberantly "I DID IT MOMMY! I PEE-PEED IN THE POTTY ALL DAY!" "I'M A BIG GIRL!" It was a proud moment for both of us.
It is such a joy to watch my babies grow up.. there will always be bitter sweet moments but that is how we live.. one season to the next...

just me..

Who am I.. really? This is a question that has been rumbling around in my mind lately. It seems lately that I have been just going through the motions and the days keep on passing by. I asked myself the other day.. Is there something missing? Is there something else I am suppose to be doing? Of course my first "calling" if you will, is to be a wife and mother.. which I absolutely love and am very passionate about. I am overwhelmed that God has entrusted these precious lives to me, to take care of and love with everything in me. However, beyond that.. I feel something deep with in me that cries out.. more! More of what? I have to think that at the end of the day, when most people look at their very fulfilling lives, most of us wonder... is there really more? About a week ago, a friend of mine really challenged and encouraged me. I was reminded of some desires hidden in the depths of who I am.. some desires that have seemed to get covered up with all the dailyness and busyness of life. I really love to write. I love how it allows me to be open and vunerable, raw and real. I have never really felt that I am a great communicator but I can almost always express myself better if I write it out. But why is that? I think a lot of people want to be real and authentic but we let our insecurities get in the way. I know I do. So, starting today I am becoming the real me! I want people to really see me, see in my heart, know who I am and what I stand for. I want to encourage and help other people in this journey of life. I have learned that there is nothing more fulfilling than knowing God and being used by Him to impact other peoples lives. I do not want to just "go through the motions" .. that leaves you with emptiness. I want to get out of my own way and live my life on purpose!
Perhaps as I practice writing I will eventually be as bold in person as I can be when I write. I can't promise anything profound.. just my thoughts and of course a story or two about my precious babies. That is all for now..

"I cry out to God Most High, to God, who fulfills his purpose for me.."
Psalm 57:2

under construction!!

i have been inspired... i am revamping my blog and hope to pick it back up with new insights and more frequent posts.. more to come soon...